Feel What I Feel
by ox Autumn Facade xo
Summary: He wanted Sora to feel what he felt. He wanted his other half to know how it feels to have yourself ripped into two, jagged pieces of someone that was never even whole to start with.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Feel What I Feel**

His death could be described as poetry. It was selfless, it was beautiful. He gave himself back to the abyss for the sake of a young soul to search out his destiny. He threw away everything he had become, only to sink into the darkness and be lost without even the remains of a memory. Sora held the guilt, he carried it on his shoulders with every step he took.

(_You. It was you_.)

He tried to think that he could have done nothing to prevent the death of Axel, tried to believe it was inevitable.

(_Your fault_.)

They told him it was something that could not have been avoided. Said he did the best he could. And he tried his hardest to truly believe it. Though, something about Roxas whispering accusations and blame in the back of his mind made it all the more difficult. Yes, Sora held the guilt. But he didn't have the pain. He didn't feel the raw hole deep inside of his chest, bleeding with the grief of loss and with thoughts of what could have been. He didn't scream himself to sleep, holding his eyes shut, trying to get the image of Axel's bloodshed body being torn down, down, down, to the darkness.

He wasn't the one who never received the chance to say so much as good-bye.

(_He isn't coming back._)

Roxas knew far too well that it was a terrible lie, saying a Nobody could not feel. He wished it were true, because if it were, he could stop the rain inside of him, he could stop the pouring of tears and blood, he could cease the scream of thunder that raged and wracked through him.

He wanted Sora to feel what he felt. He wanted his other half to know how it feels to have yourself ripped into two, jagged pieces of someone that was never even whole to start with.

(_Feel what I feel._)

And Sora could do nothing but listen to the harsh, pain-stricken whispers. He was aware of the fact that he could never possibly know how much it hurt for Roxas to lose who he did, but he also knew there was absolutely nothing he could do but listen to the broken voice speak of his resentment, his loss, his hatred.

"I can't, Roxas." Sora stood at the edges of the smooth, pure sandy beach of the Destiny Islands, allowing the wind to tug gently at his chesnut locks of hair. His expression was blank, though his feathery eyebrows curved downward in deep thought. The crimson colored sky painted far into the horizon, sinking into the cerulean waters as calm waves lapped onto the shore, one after another. "I can't ever feel what you feel. You are the half of me that has to feel this."

The deep snarl in the back of his mind caused his eyes to narrow and he stood motionless, staring off into the distance.

He could hear quiet footsteps, almost timid. But he stood still, closing his eyes as he took in the oceanic scent, tilting his head back in the slightest.

"Sora..." (_Roxas..._) Kairi spoke softly, and Namine's voice echoed immediately after hers, calling for the distraught boy inside of Sora.

It was difficult having a conversation between the four of them, the words would become jumbled, sentences would blend. Though Kairi and Namine didn't have the difficulty between them that Sora and Roxas had.

"Sora," Kairi called for him again, her voice still sounding as breakable as the most fragile of things, grasping for some sort of response. "It's getting late...We should go back." She was standing beside him now, and her aqua colored eyes stared at him with concern as she bit down on her bottom lip. She could hear Namine's voice beginning to speak again, in low whispers this time, in attempt to coax the shattered soul out of his hibernation of grief.

"Go on without me, I'll meet you back at the main island." the brunette opened his magnificent blue eyes as he spoke, slowly sliding one hand out of his pocket to touch her cheek with a small smile. Kairi lightly placed her hand over his and nodded, letting her fingers linger intertwined with his as she walked toward the other end of the island.

He sighed heavily with his hands hanging idly at his sides, glancing at Roxas' ghostly presence beside him. The blonde boy glared coldly at him, baring his teeth as he spoke unintelligable words under his breath. Sora ignored him, turning to see Kairi disappearing into the distance and shook his head slowly from side to side.

"Forgive me." he said quietly before turning back to face the ocean.

It was silent.

Sora took one step into the cool water as it overcame his left foot.

"She doesn't deserve to be hurt like this." Sora could feel Roxas' hard stare drilling into the back of his skull, and he turned.

"_I_ don't deserve her." he snapped back.

"So you're just going to hurt everyone around you, again, for your own selfish reasons, then?" his words shook with anger as he again pictured Axel throwing himself away for the sake of Sora.

Sora remained silent.

"I don't disagree that you deserve to die." Roxas continued, averting his gaze in the direction Kairi had taken. "But you owe it to at least Axel that you don't do this. He died for you." he paused, shaking his head. "And you owe it to her. Could you imagine what it would do to her?"

"She's better off without me."

Roxas didn't miss that Sora had said nothing about Axel.

"You aren't going to do this." Roxas clenched his teeth, along with his fists .

Sora took three more steps into the water, he was now knee deep.

"You die, I die." The blonde said blankly.

This caught Sora's attention.

"And she dies." Roxas added. "She won't deal with this. She can't handle it."

"You understimate her too much."

"You know she can't."

"I know nothing."

Roxas let go of his frustration, dropping his hands to his sides. "You know what? Fine. Do it, go ahead. Off yourself and leave Kairi here alone. Let Axel be lost in vain. Kill me. It doesn't matter. You won't ever get it. I only held on for the sake of her, but if you don't care, then why the hell should I care?" He took a small item out of his pocket and flung it into the water.

Sora caught only a glimpse of it, but that was enough for him to know. He dove into the cold ocean, desperately racing for the object. The frosty water bit mercilessly at his skin and the salt burned his eyes, but he ignored it. He swam a good twenty feet out and there it was, resting on the sandy floor.

It shimmered, swaying back and forth as the waves drifted to the shore. He lifted it into his hand with careful delicacy, swimming back to the surface. Splashing his head out of the water, he held the small item in both of his hands as his now bloodshot eyes stared at it with awe.

The small paopu fruit keychain shined in his palm as water dripped from his spikey locks.

(_You'll stay, for her._)

Sora quickly looked back to the beach, and Roxas wasn't there.

(_And I'll go, for him._)

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End file.
